The only word to describe my birthday: Grief.

To think that Fifi's sudden news to fly to Australia was enough to make a 19 year old cry, things just got worst. Received a call from Nenek at 6am, hearing her cries and difficulties to convey her intentions of calling. My grandfather died in his sleep. According to her, she was trying to wake him up fr his Subuh prayers (like she always do) when she found out, he didn't even budge when she switched on the lights.

The moment we came, she was already in deep state of loss and asked what took us so long. I saw my grandfather's face, so pale yet peaceful.

I may not be close to him, but I sure do share some sweet memories with my grandfather. He was a man with such great character that I was sure he made an impact on most people's lives. He was such a great man, husband, father, grandfather and an already great grandfather to Abg Farhan's baby girl. The last time I met him was when I bumped into him and Nenek walking slowly at Harbourfront Centre. It was during my break, I shouted Nenek! Atok! and boy, they never fail to pinch my cheeks whenever they meet me.

Ahhhh, his skin was cold when I kissed his forehead. I resented the idea of getting close to his body initially because I was scared. That's it. It brought me back to the day when my grandmother (maternal) passed away, when I was too busy with National Day celebration with the community. I didn't get to kiss her forehead and being the only grand child who did not, I regretted alot in life. It was the last time I'm seeing her.

After his burial, everyone headed back to Everton (Outram) for kenduri. My mother and I were sitting in the room with Nenek when she asked me, 'Chaaa, dah makan? Pergi lah makan, panggil ayah mama adik' Gosh! It reminded me of how Atok used to say that too.

When I saw my dad broke down, I couldn't control my tears. My father is a person who could mix with all sorts of people, but he never disrespects his parents. From the way he talks to Nenek and arwah, it shows how well arwah taught him.

My grandfather was a great man. I'm sure he was, right arifah?